Where I'm at...

Welcome back!! Thought I might give a little update on where I'm at in my life...

As some of you might know, I have just recently changed my employment in the last couple of months - going from fashion to finance. I was previously a multi-site manager for an international company where I managed a couple of fashion stores at Auckland International Airport. After 3 years of this, I decided that I needed a new challenge and became a team leader for an international finance company primarily dealing with foreign exchange.
We have just opened 10 new stores at the Auckland International Airport employing over 120 sales consultants, with some stores operating 24/7. Hey, I said I needed a new challenge!!

The logistics behind this mammoth objective has been mind-blowing to say the least!! I have been involved with opening new stores before but no way near on this level!! The planning, regulations, compliance, security, recruitment and intense training had been implemented to near perfection. However on saying this, I think we underestimated on just how busy we were going to get!! We knew that it was going to be "full on" at times for everyone involved what with 12 million passengers per year with an average of 90 flights per day...

It has really challenged everyone involved, in so many ways, but I feel that in doing so, forced many to step outside their own little "comfort zones" and are projecting them (both personally and professionally) into a whole new stratosphere that they never realised they could get to... I must admit that my biggest buzz being in management, is helping people to believe in themselves and then giving them the life skills to make the changes - now and throughout their lives...

Speaking of new challenges, I have just been promoted to duty manager. Well, I was intending to head down that road at some stage in the near future, but was blown away by the offer and wasn't going to turn the opportunity down!! - Bring it on!! :)

Anyway...I had better cruise as the wife is starting harass me about coming to bed... nite :)

Moving on

Hi all :)

I had better be careful or this might start turning into a habit!! Even though I used to be a web designer in the past, this bloggin’ thing is a bit of a new concept for me. I’m used to just talking to people in person or over the telephone – more personal… Writing about yourself seems to be a bit of an art, and it’s definitely forcing me to step outside my comfort zone… But hey, I’ll give it a go - always enjoy the challenge of something new :)

BTW... I must appologise for the amount of poems that I have posted. I wanted to finally get them all together in one place and not on bits of paper all around the office.
I also know that some of you are not really into them but hey, they’re my own way of expressing how I was feeling at that particular time of my life. Some are my favourites, and some are just words… Make of it what you will but please feel free to leave comments, as I’m always interested of other people’s evaluation or interpretation…

Ciao

07 -Within The Darkness

Within the darkness,
Your blood still seeps between my fingers,
No matter how hard I try to hold on.

Within the darkness,
Your screams still haunt me,
Is this the last memory I witness,
With you in my life.

Within the darkness,
Please God, don't extinguish the candle's flame,
She is still needed here beside me
Please, don't slip away.

Within the darkness,
A vision of absolute sheer terror,
Upon the face of our own son,
Wait, I still need to say goodbye.

Within the darkness,
A tear often sheds unnoticed,
A time, that I almost lost,
What meant the most to me.

Within the darkness,
When you both lay here beside me,
Tightly held within my arms,
Eases the pain.

Within the darkness,
For it maybe seldom spoken,
I will always love you...


This poem is dedicated to my wife and son. In 2003 we were involved in a serious motor vehicle accident which resulted in my wife being temporally impaled through the chest by a piece of wooden fence railing and having to be airlifted to hospital. Our son suffered severe bruising/minor lacerations to the head and leg. The reason for the accident - driver fatigue. I had fallen asleep at the wheel...
By some miracle, no other vehicles were directly involved. We have since rebuilt our lives as the wounds (both physical and mental) have slowly healed.

Never overestimate your bodies physical limitations - be that not the one of cutting short a life of a loved one, or someone else's...

07 - To My Wife

I love you deeply.

You are within me,
Whenever I endeavour dreams.

You are within me,
Along whatever crumbling, winding road,
That I may choose to travel.

You are within me,
Climbing the highest summit,
Lending me your weary shoulder,
Whenever I start to fall.

You were within me,
When my life was at it's lowest,
You gave me hope,
And collected my tears.

You were within me,
When I made my mistakes,
Your charisma, your empathy,
Made me stronger person.

You are within me,
Helping to erase the pain,
Helping to hold on,
The time I almost lost you.

You are within me,
In each breath that I may take,
Blown away upon your beauty,
Each time I look in your direction.

You are within me,
As I lay along side you within my arms,
I wonder what I did to deserve,
A person like you.

My heart beats,
Only because of you...

I love you...

07 - Your Eyes

In the early morning rain,
I see it in your eyes,
An uncontrollable tear,
Falls down upon your cheek.

In each stride you may take,
I see it in your eyes,
Your hand now falls empty,
As it reaches out for support.

In the late evening light,
I see it in your eyes,
The tender touch of emotion,
Once shared as darkness entailed.

In each sunrise you envision,
I see it in your eyes,
The emptiness of night continues,
As the sheets remain cold.

In the time you needed me most,
I see it in your eyes,
Your inner voice screams silently,
I need you now here beside me.

In each breath that you enhail,
I see it in your eyes,
The eventual fear to exhale,
To finally say goodbye.

In the early morning rain,
Open your eyes and take my hand,
Remember your strength,
Your beauty, your soul.

In the early morning rain,
Open your eyes and believe,
What I loved within you,
Finally became a part of me.

Decide the life that you may now doubt,
The pain will eventually fade,
I see it in your heart,
That you will survive...

I forever love you...


Dedicated to my wife - for the time I may not be around (way way in the future)...

95 - For A Special Friend

May I lay down beside you,
On this wet and stormy night.

May I whisper in your ear,
And tell you just how much I care.

May I put my arms around you,
And hold on tenderly so tight.

May I share with you the warmth,
That will entail dawns first golden light.

May I bring you saffron roses,
For when you are feeling down.

May I lend you my shoulder to weep upon,
I'll be there, just turn around.

May I be your guiding light,
For when life is at it's darkest.

May your feet be not set in stone,
As your wings set into flight.

May it be warmly remembered,
Who was there for you,
On that harsh winters night...

94 - Final Words

For this is the last I may see you,
For this is the last memory,
That I may frame inside my soul,
Shared the happiness, the sorrow,
Now may you kiss me,
As I upon your warm lips,
Feel amongst the crippling heart,
The tears that run down your cheek,
Will show your love,
Be that not afraid of openness,
For that I hoped to know,
That your love was as real in you,
As it was to me...

94 - The Gift

Snowflakes fall upon the blinding desert,
Water turns to glistening sand,
An albatross shrieks above,
In the stormy grey skies,
To all below that may listen.

The newborn will walk,
But not without it's mothers milk,
As the wind blows still so wild,
Opposites as the change of life,
Granite will weather to dust,
An empty barrel of the emotional weapon,
Never to kill a nonexistent mind.

Empty hearts will become fulfilled,
Makes the reaper turn to above,
As the heavens gave you a gift,
That pounds within your heart,
May the love concur the sniffling soul,
Turn stone into something called love,
For the love that may crack the clay,
Will turn to gold...

Those who will cut short,
May as well not have been sown...

94 - Written Words

To write is to never forget,
Your dreams or your life,
You hope that others,
Will appreciate it's raw intent.

Could it be a scapegoat within ones own inhibitions,
To share that words cannot say,
To write but cannot show,
The inner confusion that be not expressed,
But only to be understood if relative of the reader.

Difficult to express unless reading upon the same script,
A script of inner most confusion,
A silent world of love, hatred, sorrow and envy,
A door that will never be fully closed,
To express what is felt within the broken hearted,
Without prejudice nor denial.

It is written with passion,
Always with inner confusion,
May the eye of the beholder,
Come to understand the view of the pen,
Writing with tears of sorry and happiness,
Of it's troubled holder,
A life with a view...

94 - As The Candle Burns

Angels sing upon the silver cloud,
That rains down within the soul,
I fought but could not regain,
Fear is worthless,
But my love will still remain.

Death engulfed my body,
But did not entomb my soul,
I am very much alive,
As the candle will continue to burn,
Forever in the corner of your heart.

For I may never be again visual within your eyes,
But forever within each beat,
That pounds deeply inside your sunken chest,
For you are now the one who must survive.

May my love live within your remorseful heart,
I will always be there, be it now spiritually,
For that someone special,
Who I saw within you...

94 - Tomorrow

Are you going to be there tomorrow,
Or are you there for yourself,
What can I gain while I can,
Caution always upon the downwind gusts.

Can I build a nest,
Within your fragile branches,
As the wind blows,
Through your thorny leaves.

Is this defensive,
Or an attack upon trust,
Where do I stand,
Within an eye of a storm,
Which way to travel,
When the path is not yet laid.

Do I start to build,
A house for my security,
Or is it a grain in the desert,
Blown away within the wind.

Are my feet set in concrete,
Will I be able to walk,
Can I behold my beating heart,
Safely within the palms of your hands.

So answer me now,
Will you be there for me,
As I will be there for you,
Will you put it to stone,

Do you care enough for me...

94 - Untitled #4

As wars fight for beliefs,
As I fight for what's right,
As the blood may shed,
As does mine, deep in my heart,
As I make the waves,
As you may ripple,
That the first stone,
Will always cripple.

It could have been so painfully simple,
That now your at my mercy,
A ship upon my reefs,
My love was never for lease,
May it now finally,
All end in peace...

94 - Such Is Life

Through the innocence of childhood,
Becomes the brutality of adulthood,
That faith succumbs reality,
Of the merciless absentminded,
The heartless will fall divided.

The senses of hatred,
Within the hearts of it's population,
Will the evolution of the remorseful emotion,
Finally release the blindfolded.

Without it's Summer warmth, Winter rains,
Within lost souls,
Hidden hearts succumbed upon,
Thee without vision of past,
Lie a blackened future.

Without new tide,
Generation be lost forever...

94 - Handle With Care

For this battle be not won in vain,
For conclusion of emotion,
May be not at all insane,
Within the midnight rain,
Amongst the merciless wind,
There is tranquillity,
At the mention of your name.

For within the solitude,
That surrounds your heart,
Is the love so pure, so true,
Eternally brightens as it gains magnitude,
For that of a dream that lives are built on,
Of the unrestful love,
That will always conquer,
My ever remorseful heart,
Will always be at your disposal.

Handle with care...

94 - Guardian Angel

For I'm a shadow,
In your distance,
I will always be by your side,
And watch over you,
For if you ever need me,
Just turn around,
For I am here for you...

94 - Purpose

We are what we are,
But who are we?
Are we someone to care about,
Or are we someone to forget?
Are we on this earth to make a point,
But have forgotten what it is?
Is there a reason why we are here,
Or are we the reason?
Is there an answer to every question,
So why do we question every answer?
Where are we heading,
If we don't remember where we have been?
Is there any future,
While we are still digging up the past?
But can we find a cure,
Beyond reasonable doubt,
For why we are what we are?

Think about it...

94 - To Touch A Rose

As the rose,
In the icy environment,
Will shatter upon a touch,
As will I,
Upon the warmth of an icy kiss.

Existence will no longer be survival,
Without emotional thawing,
A limit no matter what put through,
Is the constant remembrance of belonging,
Is the need to be loved.

Strive that the recognition may not stray,
But it'll always need nurturing,
To become a person of feelings,
To become a person of love.

Or the revolution of emotional depression,
Will end up flourishing,
To become noxious weeds within the heart,
To become a total waste of space.

For may that not be,
For all of our sakes,
Set it free...

94 - Existence

As the dove sets flight,
The wind forholds her destiny,
The calm before the storm,
Truth won't be known without her survival.

A fragile life of short duration,
As she rises above the cliffs,
A soul to seek resurrection,
Whilst the silent stone will see eternity.

As the cliffs tower below her so powerful.
Crumble within the brutality of the sea,
Forever changing through weathering,
Wondering if they are to be reborn,
Millions of years from now.

Who will see,
More to the point,
Who will be...

94 - A Reason

When everything is going alright,
Suddenly crumbles and falls,
Tryin' to make things happen,
When all you do is crawl.

Makin' a livin',
One step forward, two steps in reverse,
To survive without sliding into insanity,
But end up making it worse.

Suddenly you're out of time,
What have you to show,
A pocket full of dust,
A heart full of woe.

It's a factor of life,
Existence insubstantial...

What's the point...

94 - Untitled #3 (quote)

How can we be within existence,
If we cannot yet survive...

93 - Final Chapter

The missus and I are arguing about,
What's wrong and what's right,
Had enough of the yelling years,
And rode off into the night.

I ain't going back,
Not in this lifetime,
Thank God! It's about time,
To finally ditch this stupid bitch of mine!

Should've seen it coming,
Sucked me in and put on the shackle,
Now only open roads roar beneath,
Without a cackle, free of the bloody hassle!

93 - A Rose

If you wake in the morning,
And find a rose on your pillow,
You will know I'll be gone.

Don't be saddened,
For you'll know I will always be with you,
Through the hardship and happiness,
You will remember,
And it'll bring a smile.

For the love once shared,
will be now in spirit,
From the warmth in the embers,
The fire will grow strong,
It will never die.

For I'll remember,
A smile that launched a thousand ships,
The feeling of two loves unified.

Words never express,
The love, the tenderness,
It is felt deep within,
Two beats, never to miss.

Retrieve the scattered pieces,
And treasure each one,
Each one for each moment we have have shared,
It will be time to move on,
Let the love never run dry.

May the love never die...

93 - Remember

Remember the times,
Down and out on the farm,
We had found companionship,
Two down and outs,
Found support, made it last,
I was there for you, and you for me,
We made it through...

Stoned on the log,
Trying to stay on,
Laughing at the world,
Where to belong.

Time has it's own way of healing,
Once young and care free,
So hard to see what forholds,
We lived for the moment,
Opened our hearts,
Before we lost it all.

As we bled, we healed,
To make us stronger as individuals,
Now each different lives,
One thing I hope, will still remain,
That you have a true friend,
Whenever you are in need.

I will always be beside you,
If your world falls apart,
I will walk by your side,
And follow your dreams.

For if you are ever alone,
That someone will always be there,
For the days filled with joy,
For the days filled with sorrow,
I will always be there for you...

93 - As the wind blows

In the wind, the candle dies,
A final kiss...

I wake with your memory,
Now a tear upon my cheek,
What was it, I did so wrong,
I gave you my heart, my joy,
I loved you so much,
Wanted you set free with me.

Now so tragically,
Taken from me...

93 - Echoes

Hear the voices in the empty room,
They rebound to remind,
No matter how far you run,
The distance will never outreach,
The raw emotion within...

92 - Untitled #2

The chains of scrutiny,
How can thee be free,
Tied through infliction,
Bitch, get in the kitchen...

92 - Untitled #1

At dawn rise,
The condor spreads it's wings,
A shadow soars the plains,
The vanity insane...

92 - Lost Love

Once close, now faded,
Through life's constant straining,
Separate lives, separate loves,
The distance prevails.

Never two, as one,
The past, only to remember,
Treasured life's history,
Stored in the bleeding heart.

Tide rises and falls,
Still leaves broken emotion,
Of what could have been.

Constant remembrance,
The pain of glass,
Shatters deep within thee.

The vultures of life,
Thrives, feeding on remorse,
Drained of all feeling,
The heart left raw.

But the past ones still remembers,
Still sore...

92 - Confusion

The brave face,
But the make-up still runs deep,
The illusions we chase,
But foundations crumble.

Sinking emotions,
Deep in the infinity pit,
Where does it end?

Desperately seeking,
What's meant to be,
Blinding tears beyond,
No return.

Confusion of emotion,
Where do I belong?

Still return to the past,
For a light,
That is slowly dimming,
Chasing ghosts to no avail.

A moth to light,
Chasing circles in death,
Within the emptiness,
Within myself...

92 - Why

Who will remember,
The valiant battles fought in error,
The lives, loved and lost,
Sworn to the sword,
Died by the edge.

Eternity continues,
Sunken by generations,
But soon forgotten,
Blood still stains the past.

The unknown skeleton,
Lies in bristling sand,
Died for what he believed in,
Who will tell?

Death will become us,
But few are legends.

So many untold...

Welcome to my little corner of the Net...

Well... I finally have my own blog...

After many long and torturous months listening to my wife about how wonderful they are and, when are you getting one??? It's a bit like taking young children on a long car trip - "are we there yet??", "are we there yet??", "are we there yet??"...

I was just hoping that she would eventually tire of it and fall asleep... But nooooooooo... Must have been sucking back the Red-Bull, caffeine and no-doze because she got worse as the journey continued... No rest-breaks, no pit-stops, no sleep... so...

WELCOME FELLOW BLOGGERS!!!

I embrace you all !!! Be sure to leave comments (this will help keep her off my case!!)

Peace out and happy bloggin'...